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10 Powerful Ways To Boost Self-Esteem and Confidence

Written By Millen Livis

“ I am what I am and that’s all that I am”

I learned this Confidence Mantra – ” I am what I am and that’s all that I am” – many years ago at one of my yoga trainings at Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health in Massachusetts. It might seem simplistic and repetitive, but for me it brought to light one of the most important, defining, and not to mention sexy aspects of one’s personality: Confidence.

Have you ever caught yourself thinking along these lines?

  • Who am I to be considered for ______________ (position, role, …)?
  • Why would this awesome, intelligent and successful guy choose me (fall in love with me)?
  • What if I would not be able to ________________?
  • Who would possibly hire me for such an important leadership role at ___________?

Or telling yourself

  • I am too fat
  • I am too short
  • I am not funny
  • I am not sharp
  • I will not be able to ________
  • I am not good with computers to do _________
  • I am not a leader to be ________
  • I don’t know how to ________

If these kinds of thoughts never popped up in your mind, good for you! You may stop reading here.

However, for most women today (myself including), who live incredibly demanding and competitive lives, it’s often a real challenge to feel confident, capable, proficient, and secure. This lack of self-worth, feeling that you are “not ______ enough”, can be very persuasive… In fact, it may stop you from pursuing your dreams or destroy the things that you already have and love. The damage from lack of self-confidence can be really enormous and very self-destructive… it may lead to wrecked relationships, loss of jobs, feeling stuck or incapable. More often than not, low self-confidence is associated with chronic depression and other serious health issues.


One of the dangers of diminished self-worth and lack of self-confidence is that it often masquerades as truth. It causes a great deal of mental noise, which prevents you from seeing “the forest for the trees”. Your negative or limiting self-image becomes a filter that you use to see yourself in your personal and/or professional life. Once you see yourself through this narrow self-imposed filter, you close yourself off and become “the story” that you created… unable, powerless, incompetent, useless, un-lovable, etc. You become the lead actresses in this dramatic movie that you produced without realizing that you did it! However, this is NOT the Absolute Truth but rather your own Skewed Perception of Reality. This skewed self-image may become so convincing and so powerful that when someone tries to suggest otherwise – you will reject the notion of another reality as Untrue or Impossible. Ask me how I know this… because I lived it.

Conclusion and Action Steps

I believe that self-confidence is a very attractive quality of a women’s personality and is an attainable skill. OK, some women are naturally confident and G-d bless them! If that is not you, don’t despair. You can develop this attribute! But first acknowledge that you would benefit from focusing on building up self-confidence, self-reliance and positive self-image across all aspects of your life.

The process of re-building a positive self-image may take some time but you can see it as a fun game, not an assignment! I would suggest taking on the following action steps:

  1. Live with an Attitude of Gratitude. Remember this saying:” I was sad because I didn’t have any shoes until I saw a man who didn’t have any legs…”? Every morning, while in bed, think of 5 things you are grateful for. This will help restore self-confidence and instill a sense of contentment.
  2. Come up with your own Freedom Mantra that you could use to deflect any negative self-talk or unsupportive comments from others. Examples of freedom mantras: “I am who I am and that’s all that I am” or simply “I Love the way I AM”.
  3. Mind Your Own Path. Everybody has his/her own Path; G-d has a plan for everyone. There is no need to compare yourself to others or to their achievements – you are Unique in your own way and there is a higher purpose for your uniqueness.
  4. Practice Judgment Free Awareness. Your thoughts become your feelings and your feelings become your beliefs, which form your subconscious mind and subsequently manifest as your physical reality… Be VERY MINDFUL of your negative thoughts – remember that you are the producer of the movie “I am ________” (fill the blank) and you can change the script at will!
  5. Become your Biggest Fan and Promoter. Every night, while in bed, recite at least 5 successes of the day and praise yourself for these accomplishments.
  6. Be Authentic/Live authentically. Some people will not like you, but many others will. There is no need to change yourself in order to please someone else or get them to like/love you. The right person will respect you and will be attracted to you because of the way you are, not the way you pretend to be.
  7. “Fun yourself” – sing your favorite songs out-loud and/or dance your “funky moves” whether somebody is watching or not.
  8. Find your Own Unique Style/Image that would eloquently reflect your personality on the outside. An attractive external self-image is important for building self-confidence in women.
  9. See Greatness in others… What you see in others you strengthen in yourself.
  10. Be Brave and Bold – Play everything, be willing to take risks, mess up, fall, and constantly challenge your unsupportive beliefs. That is how you learn – by falling and getting back up.

To your Health, Wealth, and Happiness,

P.S. Was this post helpful? What are your thoughts on this subject? I would love to see your comments!

About the Author

Millen is a Wealth architect and Financial Independence Coach, entrepreneur, and a bestselling author. Being a Possibilities' Catalyst, she uses her intuition, business, and investment expertise to support entrepreneurial women (like you) who want to master their money, live their purpose achieve financial prosperity and freedom. With her physics and business education, corporate and entrepreneurial experience, money management know-how, mindfulness practices and transformational coaching skills, Millen has a unique ability to guide and support clients in achieving extraordinary success in their lives.

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