In the Part 1 of the 12 PRACTICAL Guiding Principles for WINNING When Face Adversity, I shared first two Guiding Principles for Winning when you face adversity.
Today we’ll cover the next 5 guiding principles that will help you WIN when face adversity.
3. Don’t Waste Your Time on Wishful Thinking.
Many people have a habit of saying things like this: “I wish I could…”, “I wish I was (fill the blank) / I was not… “, “I wish I had…”
Another examples of wishful thinking:
When you have worked towards some important goal, put a lot of effort, time, and money, yet have not achieved it, it’s natural to be frustrated.
Or if you have experienced hardship after hardship, sickness after sickness, loss after loss…without the light at the end of the tunnel…. It’s understandable to request justice from the Universe.
Or when you have unsatisfied expectations for outcomes that are not in your control – from loses in your retirement accounts, to an unexpected breakup, to a sudden layoff – these experiences always cause deep frustration.
Your first impulse may be “I don’t deserve this!” OR “I wish it hadn’t happened!”
Using statements like that is a form of self-sabotage.
When you proclaim wanting something that that is not your reality at the moment, it often leads to taking on a victim mentality.
More healthy and self-compassionate response would be to accept what has happened, adapt to the current reality, and set your clear intention for a better outcome.
4. Focus on Solutions.
Instead of focusing on the way things should be, acknowledge how they are at the moment, and focus on solutions to the problems at hand.
If you feel overwhelming emotions, PAUSE, acknowledge your feelings, allow yourself to feel them, then refocus your attention (and energy) on possible solutions.
Shift to your rational thinking state, and ask yourself:
1. What is the problem? Identify the root cause. Be as objective as possible.
2. What are possible solutions? Be open-minded – when there’s a will, there’s almost always a way. If there is no clear solution, what can you do to make things more bearable?
3. What are possible resources you can access? What or who could help you resolve the challenging situation and move forward? Think people, skills, finances, and time as some of possible resources.
Keeping notes of your answers will help you keep your mind organized and focused.
5. Take Responsibility for Your Choices and Actions.
While it’s not taught at schools, taking responsibility for your choices and actions is the essential element of self-leadership.
Not all situations are someone’s fault.
So, take responsibility for your choices and actions, focus on solving the problems you’re experiencing, act on your knowing.
This mindset is useful for rapidly sorting out your priorities when experience challenges or adversities.
Once you take responsivity for your situation, you can then create and execute a plan, which will reduce anxiety and help solve the problem.
6. Find Gifts in Every Adversity.
Every adversity, every challenge, every crisis has inherited gifts – opportunities to grow, learn, build strength, and develop resilience.
You grow the most when you experience adversity, not successes.
The safest choice – to keep the status quo, to stay in the comfort zone – is often a roadblock to achieving your goals and living your best rich life.
Though it may seem like the safest choice, more often than not, it’s the most familiar choice, not the best choice for you.
There’re two kinds of decisions – Growth decisions and Comfort decision.
Best experiences in life often lie on the opposite side of what’s comfortable or familiar…
You’re indeed more powerful and capable than you think.
7. Do Not Allow External Circumstances to Control You.
This is the essence of the Stoic philosophy: what you do and how you feel is ultimately your responsibility and your choice, regardless of external circumstances.
Stoics believed that nothing is intrinsically good or bad – YOU assign a meaning to the events you experience based on your perceptions.
Perception is everything and it’s subjective – you can program it!
It takes a clear intention and practice to choose a life-supportive perception instead of destructive perception.
There’re different practices you could choose to develop life-supportive perceptions.
Here’re 3 of them:
1. Live with the attitude of gratitude.
Stoics introduced the “negative visualization” as the way to deeply appreciate who you are, what you have, and where you are, because it can always be worse.
2. Look at your challenging situation as a detached observer, instead of a participant.
The challenges may seem much smaller and you’ll likely feel less overwhelming when you’re not too close to them.
3. Imagine that you’ve been asked to advise someone on the exact same problem you’re experiencing.
What would be the advice you’d give to someone in order to solve this problem?
That’s all for the PART 2 of the 12 Guiding Principles When Face an Adversity.
Today we covered 5 Guiding principles:
– Don’t Waste Your Time on Wishful Thinking
– Focus on Solutions
– Take Responsibility for Your Choices and Actions
– Find Gifts in Every Adversity
– Do Not Allow External Circumstances to Control You
Thank you for reading this newsletter.
Next week I’ll share the next (and last) 5 guiding principles to help you feel more empowered and act on your goals with more clarity.
To your Health, Wealth, and Freedom!