As I went for my daily walk this morning, my attention was caught up by the variety of trees and bushes that I passed by on my way. I marveled at the beautiful toll pine trees, exotic Japanese maples, and strong and solid oaks. Not all of the trees that I was passing by were in perfect shape or form, but they were doing their best using the environment they happened to be in (the climate, the ground, exposure to sun, close neighbors, etc). Suddenly, an interesting thought came to mind – each of these trees is so unique and beautiful in its own way and it would never “occur to them” to wish they were a different kind of tree… In fact, their unique qualities make them what they are!
If I apply the same analogy to human beings – both men and women – the picture is quite different. There are a lot of people that wish they were someone else or had a different body, face, skills, younger lover, better circumstances, etc. This focus on what you want to have vs. what you have causes discontent, unhappiness, and possible depression or other illnesses. When you keep focusing on what’s lacking in your life, it’s nearly impossible to feel vibrant, confident, and happy. Yet, this is exactly what we want to feel, isn’t it?
So, if your priority in life is to feel happy and free, ACCEPT “what is”. Accept your chubby body, your curly hair, your partner that needs to learn how to communicate better or a family member that is not easy to get along with. I realize it might be controversial, but I would dare to say – accept your aging, accept your own sickness or being unemployed. Once you accept “what is” – your challenging or unpleasant circumstances – you release the energy that you use to “fight” them and focus on what you CAN do to IMPROVE upon “what is”. I am sure you realize that being upset, angry, jealous, or discouraged are not helpful attitudes and your attitude is a key. Life is a balance of holding on and letting go…Hold on to things, people, and memories that uplift and empower you. Let go of things or people that irritate or upset you, accept “what is” and see what you can do to improve upon it.
Do not compare yourself with others – it’s a guaranteed way to destroy your confidence and sabotage your success. Radical self-acceptance goes a long way. First, be content with who you are and what you have and then decide what skills or personality traits you would like to develop… or not. Do what feels right for YOU, because you are valuable and beautiful just the way you are!
Millen is a Wealth architect and Financial Independence Coach, entrepreneur, and a bestselling author. Being a Possibilities’ Catalyst, she uses her intuition, business, and investment expertise to support entrepreneurial women (like you) who want to master their money, live their purpose achieve financial prosperity and freedom. With her physics and business education, corporate and entrepreneurial experience, money management know-how, mindfulness practices and transformational coaching skills, Millen has a unique ability to guide and support clients in achieving extraordinary success in their lives.