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When to Break Up: 12 Questions to help you make a right decision

Written By Millen Livis

Breaking up is hard to do… but better sooner than later!

It is exciting, exhilarating, uplifting when you meet someone who seems to be “The One” – your Soul Mate, your Best Friend, your Dream Romantic Partner and Lover. You feel like everything is possible – True Love, Inner Connection, Long Distance Relationship… You are once again willing to believe that “they” do exist – Men who have Integrity, who are Trustworthy and Caring. You open your Heart to a possibility of being in Love again…

And then something happened… You were noticing some “red flags”, some warning signs that should have alarmed you but you’ve chosen to ignore your intuition, ignore your gut feeling because it’s really hard to admit that there is no “happily ever after” with this person… You refuse to follow your guts when “The One” basically told you who he really is via his actions and attitude, not his promises.

How much proof do you need to say “Enough, this relationship doesn’t work for me”? What price are you willing to pay for being with a wrong person for too long?

Well, for some women, sadly, it takes a lifetime, for others – painful lessons of divorce, heartbreak, depression, weight gain, financial ruin, etc.

It doesn’t have to be that way!! It’s better be alone than together with a wrong person, isn’t it?

Physical attraction, Chemistry, Body type – these are all important factors, of course, but, unfortunately, they are NOT ENOUGH TO MAKE YOUR RELATIONSHIP WORK!

Here are 12 Questions that you may ask Yourself to help you decide When It’s a Right Time to Break Up:

  1. Do you feel uplifted, energized and respected by a person you are with?
  2. Does being together with this person bring out the best in both of you?
  3. Is he loving and caring towards you?
  4. Does he support and inspire you to pursue your dreams – personal and professional?
  5. Does he act in integrity with his words?
  6. Is he financially responsible? Does he like his work/profession and is good at what he does?
  7. Is he willing to make an effort to see you/ be with you (e.g. travel the distance to see you, wait for you if you are busy, accommodate your personal circumstances)?
  8. Does he respect you enough to have an intimate relationship on your terms?
  9. Does he prefer an “open relationship” or believes in “exclusive only”?
  10. Is he respectful towards your religious and political affiliations?
  11. Do you have similar values as to roles and responsibilities of a man and a woman in a family setting?
  12. Is he mature enough for having a family, having children, providing financial support?

These questions above are important “checks items” that you can use to see if you got yourself a “keeper”. Most importantly, pay attention to your FEELINGS when you ask yourself these questions. If you feel that he is NOT “The One” – don’t waste your time, your energy, and your life – MOVE ON! Once you KNOW that the foundation for this relationship is weak – LEAVE and DON’T LOOK BACK!

You can leave on your terms – gracefully, respectfully, and fairly. After all, it’s nobody’s fault, it’s just not “your cup of tea”… no need to be angry, bitter or, worse yet, vindictive. As long as you have a strong “Why” for leaving – your reasons are clear and your intentions are fair – ACT with Conviction and Strength. Remember: “Clarity = Power”. Save yourself from heartache down the road. Don’t let pain, insecurity or fear stop you. If you are not where you want to be – something has to change.


I think that leaving first and on your terms will support your self-esteem and self-confidence. It’s not very pleasant to feel “dumped”… just because you didn’t listen to your intuition and didn’t act on it. But if it so happens that he breaks up with you first – be grateful that he helped you do the right thing because you knew all along that you were not right for each other and that it wouldn’t work.

Save yourself – your time and energy – for the opportunities that are ahead of you. There are only 2 results of any decision or action – learning and winning. However, as long as you don’t learn your “lessons”, you are destined to repeat them again and again…

Focus on your interests, your intentions, and your goals. Value your life and yourself enough not to become another “divorce statistic”. Learn your lessons, Correct and Move On with your life, because the best is yet to come! I really like this quote by Jim Rohn “In order to attract success you have to become an attractive person”. Get back to your Fabulous Self Confident, Feminine, Beautiful, and Witty!

To your Health, Wealth, and Happiness,

P.S. Was this post helpful? What are your thoughts on this subject? I would love to see your comments!

About the Author

Millen is a Wealth architect and Financial Independence Coach, entrepreneur, and a bestselling author. Being a Possibilities' Catalyst, she uses her intuition, business, and investment expertise to support entrepreneurial women (like you) who want to master their money, live their purpose achieve financial prosperity and freedom. With her physics and business education, corporate and entrepreneurial experience, money management know-how, mindfulness practices and transformational coaching skills, Millen has a unique ability to guide and support clients in achieving extraordinary success in their lives.

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