I am fortunate to live very close to the ocean and a small lake. As part of my daily self-care routine, I love taking walks on the beach or around the lake every morning.
These walks have become my walking meditation practice.
I like to pay attention to and appreciate simple things: birds having a tribe gathering, children playing in the sand, people jogging and walking, and seeing footprints get washed away by the rhythmic movements of the ocean waves.
During one of my walks, my mind zoomed in on the washed footprints on the sand, and I thought: That is a symbolic image of our lives.
We, too, leave a footprint as a proof of our existence on the physical plane. Then one day our “footprint” will be erased in an instant and we’ll return back to our Divine Source.
Suddenly, the brevity of our existence struck my awareness.
I realized that all the worries and struggles, fears and pains, physical possessions, and material achievements that we identify with are not our identity but simply passing experiences along our journey.
Then what remains?
What is lasting?
Love, grace, kindness, and joyful memories you share with others are the legacy that you can leave behind one day.
If you are like me – ambitious and constantly driven by new and exciting ideas and projects – you are motivated by the desire to authentically serve others with your talents and skills.
In my case, this passion and drive helped me achieve freedom and independence, and I am infinitely grateful for my life.
Yet I often push myself and multitask to the point of exhaustion.
I get caught up in busyness, which is a self-created illusion, and overlook the real priorities.
In the instant that I was watching the footprints get washed away, however, I felt that I truly want to refocus on what really matters in life, especially in the midst of busyness.
I want to focus on what makes me feel good: love, joy, grace, deep connections, and inner peace. And from THAT place, I will create my training masterpieces and make a bigger impact in the world.
Today I want to share with you a fun exercise I like to do to plan an extraordinary year and invite you to try it too.
Create a list of
Your wins – all the successful outcomes or efforts, whether tangible or immaterial. This will help you focus on your successes and expand on them.
Your pains – habits, beliefs, people and experiences that I want to leave behind. Create this list, then burn it as a symbol of releasing this energy from your life.
Your lessons – feedback, experiences, people and beliefs that I want to expand and bring over to the next year. We tend to repeat the lessons that we haven’t learned. Awareness of these lessons will help you get to desired goals faster.
Your goals – what do you want to FEEL and EXPERIENCE, CREATE, GIVE and RECEIVE. Clarity about your desires will help your subconscious to zoom in on your goals and manifest them.
Take some time for yourself and write your dreams into existence!
Have a magical New Year!
Until then… STAY IN YOUR POWER!
Millen
P.S. To start pre-paving your way to Wealth and Financial Freedom, make sure to download your FREE Wealth PlannerHERE
“The more you’re like yourself, the less you are like anyone else, which makes you unique.” ~ Walt Disney
“I am not where I supposed to be in this stage of my life.”
“I appreciate the great money I make but I feel I could do and have more.”
“If I only had a thriving business, I would be happy. I don’t feel that I live my full potential.”
In my experience as a wealth coach and financial freedom mentor, I have yet to meet a single woman who was truly deeply connected to the intrinsic magic that she possesses.
I am referring to the true magic of YOU that is so much more than your appearance, your business success or the size of your bank/brokerage account.
I am referring to the magic of YOU that you were so highly aware of when you were a little kid.
Remember those glorious days when everything was possible; when you were happy by just being YOU?
Remember the time when you didn’t try to prove your worth or impress anybody? When you didn’t compare yourself?
Do you remember those days when your heart was filled with enthusiasm for life and curiosity about ‘what else is possible’?
Would you agree that you were more connected to the REAL YOU when you were a child than you are now?
Although your physical body has changed significantly, the true essence of you as pure consciousness, as spiritual being, hasn’t changed!
That’s why when you see your picture when you were 3 or 5 years old, you can easily recognize yourself although there is not a single cell that is present in your body now was present than…
“How does all this relate to money and wealth?’ you may ask.
Good Question!
If you want to achieve success in life, you must shift your perception of yourself as limited, unlucky or any other judgmental label you may have assigned to yourself.
Money is energy and it likes to ‘hangout’ with those who emit true enthusiasm for life and live in the question “What else is possible?”
So many people live their lives by subconsciously counting their ‘successes and failures’, their ‘right and wrong decisions’, their ‘luck and misfortunes’.
What if you shifted your perspective of yourself and stopped trying to ‘prove your value’?
What if you released your judgements of yourself whatever they may be – successful, unlucky, looser, achiever – and instead truly connected to the AWARENESS of YOUR INTRINSIC VALUE?
I realize that these suggestions may sound esoteric or even radical for some of you… After all, it’s part of our culture to strive for bigger and better, for glamour and fame, right?
It is also likely that your parents had good intentions while planting the seeds of judgement in your mind by saying things like “You could do much better.”
Ask yourself, does it make YOU happier to be in a perpetual ‘proving your worth’ state of mind?
Does it make YOU more joyful, more loving and more connected to God?
It has been my personal experience and observation of other people’s struggles that looking for your value and trying to prove your worth or your specialness lead to comparisons, endless competitiveness and, ultimately, inner unhappiness or turmoil.
Rather than BEING AWARE and OWNING THE INTRINSIC VALUE OF YOU, you’re trying to prove your value and your worth. By the way, when I say you, I include myself in this category, as I too had been in this subtle mental trap for a long time.
Today I invite you to entertain the following questions
What would it be like if you stopped judging yourself and trying to prove your value and instead recognized your inherited worthiness?
How much happier will you feel?
How much freer will you be?
I find true Self-awareness to be so important for life satisfaction and wealth building that I incorporate these concepts of ‘winning the inner game’ into my wealth building training as essential elements for living a prosperous, happy and healthy.
“In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt
Money is an interesting indicator of our state of mind. Emotions like paralyzing fear, envy, revenge, resentment, scarcity, hatred or bitterness usually reflect less than desirable state of financial affairs in our lives. On the other hand, emotions like peacefulness, kindness, contentment, appreciation, happiness, joy, love and serenity reflect the state of mind that is open to receive the abundance that Universe has for everyone…. Among many things, money is a language we use to express the best in us and the worst in us. (more…)
Do you fight with your partner every time you talk about money?
Or do you have open, candid “money conversations” with your partner?
Or do you avoid talking about money with your partner so you can avoid fights and frustration?
Research has shown that couples that avoid fights about money, often end up having less wealth and not being prepared for a successful retirement.
No one wants to fight, of course. Howevere, money is the #1 thing couples argue about. And you probably heard that fighting about money is often an early predictor of divorce.
So, why would couples get sucked in into the argument about money when it causes so much stress, tension, and destruction?
While nobody wants conflict, avoiding communicating and working through disagreements with your partner can hurt the relationship and put your future financial security at risk.
I’ve met many women who shared their frustration about not being able to “talk money” with their partner in a constructive and candid way.
“I love my husband and don’t want to get into big arguments over money. So, I stopped talking about money with him all together. And now I have my secret money accounts.”
“I was sick of fighting about money. Now we both avoid these conversations.”
“We can’t ever agree when it comes to investing. He does his thing and I do mine.”
While many couples default to “not talking about money”, this solution usually comes back to haunt them.
Here’s why.
Men in a couple tend to have higher confidence and higher appetite for risk than women.
Because men usually have more risky investments and higher balance, women tend to keep substantial amount of cash in case of emergencies. In other words, to balance her husband’s high-risk investments, a wife often compensates it by keeping a high balance in FDIC-insured bank accounts, which provide safety but little or no return. This allows her to sleep at night and avoid arguments.
While it may work for some couples, this strategy may cost couples loss of opportunities in the end. If they invest $100,000 in a super-safe bank account earning 0.5%, rather than a conservative balanced index fund that may have earned 3.5%, they would have passed up 3% per year in earnings for each year the funds are invested.
On a $100,000 account, that’s $3,000 a year, and $30,000 over 10 years (not including reinvested dividends and capital gains.)
On the other hand, husband’s high-risk investing strategy may lead to significant loss of family wealth that he is trying to build by taking higher risk.
I believe, there are better ways to managing money as a couple than fighting over it or avoiding talking about money. Here are a few tips to get couples started on the road to creating wealth together:
Communicate
I believe in candid and transparent communication in the relationship. Have a candid ‘money talk’, be open about your concerns, and share your preferences when it comes to investing ideas. Don’t avoid ‘difficult conversations’ – find a way to have them in a constructive and respective way.
Work through your financial conflicts (rather than fighting about them or avoiding them altogether). If this seems daunting, you may consider talking to a financial planner, even if you are a do-it-yourself investor. If you can’t seem to work through financial arguments and have very different risk tolerance with your partner, get independent help to work through your differences and overcome communications’ challenges.
Set financial goals as a couple
Determine the return you’ll need to get on your investment in order to meet your financial goals. You may not need to take on additional risk to reach your financial goals. Calculate your annual lifestyle spending to determine what your rate of return on your investments needs to be, based on the amount you are currently saving. Don’t take more risk than you need, however, don’t be overly conservative either. Your investment returns must be adequate to meet your goals.
Set goals as a couple and develop investment strategies around those goals. For example, are you going to invest in the stock market? Rental real estate? In your growing business? If so, what percentage of your total assets you want to invest in each asset allocation?
If one of you wants to trade or invest in high-risk investments, limit the amount you allocate into high-risk investments and integrate these investments into your overall plan.
Compromise
I like to remind women that they should “pick their battles.” While some things are definitely worth fighting for, some things aren’t worth the argument. Your financial future is definitely worth fighting for.
When you have a “money talk”, listen to your partner, really hear his point of view when it comes to investing family money, and see if there is a way to find a common ground. Willingness to compromise is important for the healthy relationship. However, never compromise on your core values in life.
For example, if Freedom is your core value and you feel that your current employment is totally draining your energy and health, although paying you a very good salary, leap your way out of this situation even if your partner feels it’s wrong for your family finances.
When you force yourself to do something that you utterly resist, you compromise on something that is deeply important to you and can make yourself seek. Money is important, but your health and vitality are more important than money.
Dream together
Your money talks don’t need to be only about bills you have coming up and debt you need to repay. These conversations do need to take place, of course. But you can also share your aspirations that require you to save and grow you money – maybe a new house, or a trip, or a business that you’re passionate about. Whatever it may be – dreaming together, having common goals will help you get closer and inspire you as a couple to work toward your goals.
Do the “Five-Year Exercise.” If you only had five years to live, what would you like to do, have or experience?
Don’t overthink or censor yourself. Just start writing it down. If you are married or in a relationship, each of you should write your lists separately. Then, as a couple, choose what you’d like to do, have or experience, both together and individually. It’s hard to fight or argue about money when you are working together toward important goals. Don’t give up on your dreams!
Become Financially Empowered
Invest in yourself – let go of your inner blocks, become equipped with knowledge about strategic investing.Although having a MBA in finance might be nice, you don’t need it to be financially successful. Having a solid base of financial knowledge will take you a long way. Couples who both understand financial fundamentals, can make better financial decisions, especially when they make them together.
Besides, it’s quite likely that at some point you may be 100% responsible for your own investment and money decisions. Now is the time to upgrade your skills and knowledge about savvy money management and investing.
My intention and my mission is to shift the money game from an “adviser-centered” model to a “customer-centered” model. Let me clarify what I mean here.
You have likely used, are currently using or plan to use a financial adviser or a financial planner. And I am not saying you shouldn’t – it’s not my place to say what you should or shouldn’t do. However, I know too many people who got burned by using financial adviser and lost thousands, some even hundreds of thousands of dollars… So, why is it happening?
Well, one of the reasons is that when these people went to see the adviser, they were not really financially educated about their investment options. They delegated managing their money to a person who presumably is trained and licensed to give the best available financial advice as a fiduciary of their money. Right? Well, in theory… yes. In real life – rarely.
You see, the current financial services model has a financial adviser at the center of the financial services’ sphere and a customer – outside of it. When the customer doesn’t know her/his available options or doesn’t even know what questions to ask, the natural inclination is to listen and follow the adviser since s/he ‘knows better’ by the fact that it’s what the advisers do.
However, the caveat here is that financial advisers are no really impartial since they get paid by the financial institutions (banks, brokerage companies, other financial service companies), who issue the financial products that the advisers are selling to you. Unfortunately, it’s not uncommon that financial advisers recommend financial instruments that’s/he will receive the most commissions for.
Not only I know many people who had such experiences with financial advisers, I myself had such experiences. At first, when I met my adviser, I liked him because he listened to me, he proposed to review my estate plan, my retirement goals, etc. This liking made me feel relaxed and… buy the suggested financial products (variable index annuity) and outsource the management of my investment portfolio to his team…
Well, after losing thousands of dollars and realizing the discrepancy between his promises and my actual experience, I got back the control of my financial portfolio yet was still stuck with the multi-year contract on the financial products I bought through him. by the way, advisers are often get paid for each year you hold the financial product they sold you.
This frustrating experience and my frank conversations with some advisers made me realize how much power regular folks give away because they lack basic financial education and feel ‘not good enough’ at managing and investing their own money. An assumption that ‘financial professionals’ know best how to invest your money often leads to tremendous frustration and financial losses.
You see, each of us develops patterns – patterns of thinking and acting – including money-related patterns. Every pattern is caused by a set of assumptions. For example, your assumption that you are not good at managing your money (e.g. because someone told you that or because you mismanaged your money in the past) will likely create a pattern of thinking and acting according to this assumption.
And assuming something as a fact, whether it’s true or not, is caused by your perceptions of past experiences. For example, you’ve saved money and owned financial assets, then you got into a relationship with a person who has unhealthy money habits, which led to a loss of all your savings. As a result, your perception could be that you are not a smart money manager or that you are not meant to be wealthy.
Another example: you’ve invested money in the stock market that you saved for the down-payment on a house because you wanted to grow it, but market dropped, and you lost a lot of money… As the result, your perception could be that investing in the stock market is a gamble and you’re better off keeping all you money in cash.
As you can see from these not so hypothetical examples, your perceptions of your past experiences lead to assumptions, which then lead to your patterns of thinking and acting, and ultimately, to your experiences.
That’s why I am convinced that before you get into the “outer game” of money (dealing with your debt, your spending, savings and investing), you must attend to your ‘inner game’ – take a close and honest look at your current beliefs about money, your abilities to manage it and your beliefs about becoming financially free.
Strengthening your inner ecology – your belief system, your inner monologue, your self-confidence and self-competence – will seamlessly shift your energy from a state of repelling money to a state of attracting wealth effortlessly. You’ll get equipped with making savvy money decisions and taking smart decisive actions.
And if you’ve tried different money mindset boot-camps, seminars, all kinds of affirmations and afformations yet nothing worked thus far… it’s because your heart and soul are not there…because you don’t really believe that these affirmations are true for YOU. Your perceptions of previous experiences led to erroneous assumptions that might be slowing you down or even preventing you from living the life you want, deserve and are capable of.
That is exactly the reason I’ve created the Activate Effortless Wealth mentoring training. This is a compilation of my decades-long knowledge and experience about mastering the “inner game”, which affects your financial situation, your relationships, your work and health. Yes, the inner game is the foundation of your success in life.
And not only you’ll get access to the valuable information I offer (no, you cannot google it LOL ), you’ll have me by your side for over 10 weeks and 3 full days during the LIVE Workshop in Florida. And from my personal experience, having an empowering mentor, guide and supporter by your side on your journey to creating the life you want is priceless. Yes, you may get there on your own… eventually. However, working together with me as a team, will accelerate your results 10X.
And here is the final thought. I can certainly help you become unstoppable in your pursuit of more ease, more money, more peace of mind, and more abundance in your life. However, I cannot choose it for you. You need to decide whether YOU are ready to CHOOSE YOURSELF and up-level your life situation. Life is too precious and too short to postpone your plans until next month, or next year, or when XYZ will happen.
